Nobody Wants Your Crap

(and existential dread)

This weekend was our community garage sale. We do not always participate, but we knew we had some things to shift, so we did this year. 

This was our second garage sale in 6 weeks. I sincerely hope it was our last. 

The first one (which I wrote about here) was a random pop-up when my daughter cleaned out a whole section of her toys. Every single thing we were selling was really nice stuff - truly - things that were expensive, barely used, and in excellent condition. We sold very little and had very few customers. What was left, I listed on the NextDoor app. I sold a few more things. But there was still quite a lot left. 

We had planned on participating in the neighborhood sale anyway, since we knew we had a few odds and ends to sell. So I placed all of these items back out again. And guess what? Not one item from the first sale sold. 

We added quite a few things from our "out basket" - clothes my daughter outgrew, picture frames, toy trains, etc. We also added some from my parents' house - puzzles, every Barbie I had ever owned, and other random toys. 

We spent Friday evening moving everything out to the garage. My daughter delighted in pricing all of her stuff and displaying it on the tables (she loves to run a business!). I stressed. I hate all of the prep that goes into a sale. I hate basically seeing money laying out on the table. It still makes me uncomfortable after years of letting things go. 

So, all told, between the 3 of us, we probably spent 3-5 hours setting it up. My husband and daughter were outside by 7 am on Saturday morning. Taking it in shifts, we stayed out there until about noon. We had few customers and sold even less than we had at the previous garage sale. I think, all told, we took in about $50. Just in my time, it probably took up 8 hours. That doesn’t count the time my daughter and husband put in, or the time we have to multiply when all three of us were out there together. Was $50 worth that time I will never get back? Absolutely not. It certainly wasn’t worth the stress and the anxiety that the whole shebang caused me.

At the end of the garage sale, we packed up everything that was left and I took it to Goodwill.

This is where the existential dread kicks in. I realize that we are contributing to an overabundance of stuff problem. Even though we are not currently buying a lot of stuff, in the past we have (and I’m including stuff from my childhood as well, because my parents still have a lot of my old toys that we are still shifting - hence, every Barbie I ever owned), and I would definitely prefer these items go off to a good new home where someone uses them. The likelihood of that happening via Goodwill seems much lower to me. In fact, bestowing items on any charity seems unhelpful to me.

Now, I know that’s not entirely true, but I also know that I have been to a lot of charities to drop things off before. Most of them do not really want your old clothes or toys. I have seen the pictures of massive amounts of clothes waste. I know that every item that I am discarding is likely contributing to landfill. I also know most charities would rather have my money to directly feed and support those in need.

And many guides to decluttering and minimalism will tell you that you need to mindfully get rid of every item and find a sustainable way to discard. But practically, I will tell you this is very difficult. Especially in Indiana, where as a state we don’t prioritize doing anything sustainably. Perhaps in other places there are more clothes recycling opportunities or people who want to buy your second-hand furniture, but more often than not, you can get left holding onto stuff you don’t need because there is no way to “responsibly” get rid of it.

All of this contributes to my anxiety. Right now, we are still minimizing to a degree that this is not really possible. There’s just too much to find a home for every item. Even with our best efforts at garage sales and online marketplaces like NextDoor and eBay, rarely do we have success. We have tried VERY HARD to send items to a new home. I have been told that many of the things we are ready to re-home are “too good to give away.” But it turns out, even when we try to give things away for free, no one wants it. A familiar refrain at our house is: “Nobody wants your crap.”

This makes it very disheartening because it feels like you can’t win while decluttering. I feel guilty that we as a family are adding too much to an Earth that is already overburdened. We are dropping things at charity shops, and the shops may never sell those things, and they may still end up going to landfill. We are part of the problem.

But at times like these, I also have to remind myself that I am also part of the solution. I have made a choice to live a different way going forward, and hopefully that will equal many years where I am living more responsibly and modeling that for the future generations. I can’t change anything about my past decisions, but I can take responsibility for all of my future ones. I can show my daughter that she can be happy with less. I can teach her that it’s not worth holding on to things that are no longer serving her because no one wants her crap. I can make sure she is not burdened with a house full of stuff when I am gone. And…I can teach her that garage sales aren’t worth your time.